So You Want to Go to a Concert: A Field Guide to the Fools Around You

             Going to a concert can be scary business. You’re likely to have a drink spilled on you, get separated from your friends, and be pulverized by fanatic fans. Here are some tips to avoid the annoying people who attend the concert along with you.

MuteMath concert that I attended

            Keith Parrott, a regular concert goer, said, "You get used to the kinds of people you see. Whether it's the people trying to push you out the way, or the guys who think that just because they left the crowd to go back to the bar and get a beer, they still deserve their spot in the front; it's all part of the experience, and it usually makes for a good story."
          If it’s a band you enjoy, get there early, because chances are, someone else loves the band just as much as you do. Standing in line for hours is sometimes a small price to pay to get to the front, holding the rail as you watch your favorite band. Otherwise, you’ll have to fight through a large wall of people to get to the front.

            Be assertive. There are going to be people who annoy you at concerts. Don’t let them get to you. If there is some annoying fool who keeps bumping into you, push back. A truly satisfying moment is when that same ignorant person decides to crowd surf right over your head, leaving himself open to your vengeful attacks.

            Try to avoid the drunken middle-aged women who think they love the Killers more than you do, shouting out their favorite songs, unaware that bands have the setlist prepared early in advance.

            When you get past the people who seem to want to ruin your time at the concert, it will be the most fun you’ll ever have, especially at your favorite band’s show. Plus, it’s always fun to go back and find videos of the concerts you were at; the one where the fellow next to you kept mean-mugging you for clapping and cheering for the band while he was trying to record the entire show on his cellphone.

Sometimes the performer itself is nuisance enough.